Thirteen months later

It's been nearly 14 months since I last posted.  We closed on the house 11 days after my last post.  We went through a lot even in those 11 days, and I think I was so exhausted from the roller coaster that I was sick of talking about it, much less writing about it.  

I'll start with those 11 days.  

The biggest event during that window was that the bank decided to throw out our approved offer on the house and counter with about $20k more for the asking price.  We were given an ultimatum: take it or leave it.  If we did not accept the counter, then we forfeit the house and walk away.  Otherwise we have to accept their counter and have a larger mortgage payment.  Of course, we countered with "you can't do that!!!"  To which our Realtor said "yes, they can do anything."  They had us by the proverbial balls.  We had some serious soul-searching to do.  Some serious discussions took place, and ultimately we decided to accept it because we believed this was the house for us.

Feb. 25 2011:

Closing day.  We decided to hire a lawyer to ensure that our title was clear and that they weren't pulling anything over on us.  I said "you're hired!" after she told us that they do not have to guarantee a 100% clear title.  We needed someone who was 100% on our side and could verify that all was well, and we needed that after 8 months of hell with this house.  Everyone else involved had money and payments at stake...or commissions.  Having the lawyer there was great.  She reviewed every piece of documentation and required them to make last minute addendums and modifications in some cases.  The title company was moving quickly, and our lawyer explained everything (translated) that they were asking us to sign.  She was a great advocate and it was money well spent.  

With paperwork signed at the closing table, and keys in hand, our Realtor walked us to our car.   After so many ups and downs for 8 months I asked “So now what?  What ball drops at this point?”

After a repeated performance of disappointment, I wasn’t believing it was over…and just like that…quickly…after months and months of waiting and high-strung emotions.  We were always getting excited over what always wound up being short-lived good news, and I had been conditioned [thanks, Pavlov] to expect it to be that way…possibly for eternity.  So, even though we had signed closing papers and had keys in hand I completely expected there to be bad news headed my way.  I was sure of it.

Our Realtor laughed, and then reassured me that the house was ours.

And that was it.  Eight months of emotional highs and lows and it was just…over.  Quickly.  It was…weird.

I felt a little guilty that I wasn’t truly excited.  I was afraid to be.  

Feb 26, 2011:

Moving day.  We moved in, and well…that felt surprisingly weird.  Still not believing it was true.  Expecting the other shoe to drop.

Feb 25, 2012:

One-year anniversary of homeownership.  Reflections of eight months of what seemed like torture, and I still get angry thinking about the process we went through to become homeowners.  Hell on Earth.  Misery.  Nothing exciting, to be perfectly honest.

All that was exciting on this one year anniversary date was that we were done with the process, the house is ours, and we are making it our own – slowly but surely.

Mid-March 2012:

An usual piece of mail arrives in the mailbox addressed to “Unknown Tenant.”  Upon verifying the address, it is correct.  “Tenant?” I think to myself.  “Unknown?  What the hell is this?”

I open the mail, and it is a document written in “legalese.”  Something about our house and the court system.  The bank that owned the house is listed, as well as the previous owners.  Are they going back to court?  Still in court for bankruptcy?  What does this have to do with us??

Right away, I call the lawyer’s office who sent the letter.  The lady on the phone was a SUPREME bitch on the phone.  “The word ‘dismiss’ means…” she said.  To which I replied “Listen, I don’t need you to provide a Webster’s definition for the words in this document.  When I said translation I meant…” and I continued to explain to her that I needed her to be patient because I was trying to understand what was going on.  What are they dismissing?  Needless to say, I abandoned that phone call after a few choice words and decided the clerk of courts was the next step.  No luck.  No one answers the phone.

This week, another notice arrived in the mail.  Again, addressed to “Unknown Tenant.”  This time I think I may have really failed to do something I needed to do because here is a similar notice…but signed by a Circuit Court Judge.  Oh crap.  Panic sets in. 

Today, I brought the two notices to work to have a general counsel (lawyer) review them.  His advice was to “contact the title company immediately.”  He then asked if we have title insurance because he thought this was something against our title.  I sat there, jaw dropped, waiting for a punchline “you’ve got to be kidding me.”  He wasn’t kidding.  I left there fuming.  Not mad at him, but really pissed off that I was back on this damn roller coaster with this house.

I went to my boss “I’m going to be here, but I’ll be off-task due to this…” and I explained.  Luckily, he completely understood and told me to do what I need to do.

Hours later, after contacting the title company and insisting on speedy responses (it’s Friday and I didn’t want to spend my weekend with wrenches in my gut).  Our rep at the title company was very quick about getting answers but, as with the entire 8 months of purchasing, it felt like an eternity.  She forwarded our docs to an underwriter and his response was:

This is just the release of the judgment and lis pendens. We wish this would happen on all our files.  They did what they were supposed to do, amazing!

Still no relief here.  I replied “It’s been over 13 months since we closed. Why is this happening now??” 

The answer: “Because the banks are slow.”

I don't have any way of knowing if this is the true conclusion to our story.  But I sure hope it is.  

The moral of the story is the same as many of the other posts on this blog:

• Don’t buy a short sale.
• If you do enter into a short sale purchase you should enter it knowing it will require more patience than you currently have.  I can promise you that.  You’re patience will tested in ways you never expected. 
• The banks can do what they want.  There are no rules…at least for them.  Plenty for you to follow. 
• You will be given ultimatums. 
• Don’t make snap decisions.  Same as for any major purchase, but don’t be bullied by a bank, ok? 
• Expect the unexpected. 
• Hold on tight. 
• And, finally, don’t buy a short sale.

Pending but accepting back up offers

A coworker asked me to see pics of the house so I went online to see if I could find an old listing of the house.  (Usually on zillow, etc.  They'll have it as unlisted but will show a pic of the front of the house.)  Instead, I found a CURRENT listing of the house.  You can bet I dialed the number on the listing to "inquire about the property." 

Initially, the lady said it's an active listing, but when when she checked the MLS it was listed as pending and under contract (as it should be).  That's when I told her "yea, I'm the buyer with the contract.  Just wondering why you have my house listed for sale?"  "It takes a few days for that to be reflected once it goes into contract. It should update soon." she says.  "We've had an offer on this house since July 2010, and it's been off the market since the sellers accepted our offer 2 days after we submitted it...our offer had that contingency in it so no one should have it listed."  She then went on to say that the MLS says it just went under contract in January.  (Can you imagine the look on my face?  Can you imagine how this pissed me off?  It shuld've been listed that way since July.)  And then explained that sometimes they will change the status of the listing from "active" to "pending but accepting back up offers." 

Who knew there was such a thing?  I hope to god this house was never listed that way.  That could explain a lot about why they raised the asking price mid-game last month...6 months afer they "accepted" our offer of full asking price (at the time).  Sneaky bastards.  Criminals.

I think my head may explode

Those are the words I used this morning to explain my frustrations to our real estate agent and mortgage broker concerning the latest bit of news with the house.

Today is Feb 4.  On Feb 2, we received what was called an "approval letter" from Suntrust. Relief and elation was quickly followed by a quick "wait a second..." upon reading the document.  (Yes, more extreme highs and lows...and one right after the other.)  There is a piece of it that is highlighted by arrows and stars that reads:

 "...the approval is subject to the acceptance of short sale by the Bankruptcy Trustee or evidence of bankruptcy discharge." 

The sellers declared bankruptcy in October - 3 months into this process - and it slowed things to a crawl.  I thought things were picking back up and things were moving along recently, but I'm not so sure anymore.  Again. 

So back to why my head may explode.  I asked our real estate agent what that verbiage in the letter means, and he said it means the circuit court still has to release the house from the sellers' bankruptcy proceedings.  He just found out about that part of this yesterday.  In the meantime, we just paid for an appraisal on a house that's still stuck in bankruptcy court.  Nice, huh?  I have no knowledge of the way things work in the bankruptcy process, but I've learned a lot about the short sale process...and it seems to me that the appraisal on a house that's still under bankruptcy litigation could play against us.  What happens in bankruptcy court if they find out the actual value of the house (especially in this down market)? 

Today, I am calling a real estate attorney to get some questions answered.  Yes, I think my head may explode.

Keyword: Anxiety

We saw another house yesterday, and although we did like the house we still prefer the one we have an offer on...the short sale.

Anyway, I received an email this morning that began with "Your approved short sale file has been forwarded to our Settlement Department. You will be receiving calls periodically to follow up on the closing."

The psychological ups and downs involved in this process have not been fun at all, and continue to threaten my sanity.  Extreme highs and extreme lows.  For example, today started on an extreme low after it sunk in that this short sale seems to really be "the one" for us because we kinda thought that house yesterday would be something to consider.  Fairly depressing waking up realizing the rollercoaster ride continues for us. 

So, this morning went from an extreme low of feeling defeated and depressed to a high when that email came through (implying) that the approval is on its way.  Then, there's a reservation involved because you can't help but think..."yea...but is this serious this time??"  It's terribly confusing and frustrating.  And I cannot wait for this to be over.

Just a reminder: I am bloggin about this experience for a number of reasons.  I don't write these things down in this forum just to bitch about them...I could use a notbook for that.  It's therapeutic for me to write things down and reflect on them, but I do hope that our story will open eyes and be relevant (and helpful) to others. 

Shoulds, Mights, and Maybes...Oh my!

When you're buying a short sale expect to hear a lot of  "shoulds," "mights," and "maybes."  Nothing is for certain, and the process is ever-changing.  You'll hear these words a lot from your agent, from your mortgage broker, from the title agent, from the negotiators...from everyone.  If there's anything you can expect, it would be the unexpected.  And the only thing certian is the uncertainty of everything.

We looked at another house today, and we like it but there are more things we like better about the short sale home.  If had never seen the short sale home, we would probably like the house we saw today very much. 

So, it's back to more of the same...and "we should have an approval letter soon" and "it might come within the next couple weeks," "maybe."  And so it goes.

The difference between buying a car and buying a house

Most people who know me well know that I LOVE the process of purchasing a car.  I love the research involved, and I really love going in there as an educated consumer to negotiate a great deal.  I understand why other people dislike that process, but I truly get a kick out of doing it. 

There is a process of negotiation involved in purchasing a house, too, but it is radically different.  Another great piece of advice my dad gave me as he taught me the art of negotiation at a car dealership: "Do not fall in love with a car, and never let the salesman know you even like the car."  I could go into detail about my strategy for negotiating a car, but that's not relevant here.  Just know that I enter the dealership with a manila folder filled to the brim with info, and I know exactly what kind of car I want to buy with what options, etc.  This way I cannot be swayed, I cannot be lied to, and I cannot be talked into anything like "the Florida package" or upgrades that "only add $5 per month to the monthly payment."  (On a side note: Do you know what that $5 a month adds to the overall cost of that car over the lifetime of that loan with interest?  Scary!)

The purchase of a house is the same...but different in a big way.  Undoubtedly, you will find a house that is perfect, and it will be very easy to fall in love with it.  And, it will be very hard to walk away knowing there's probably not another one like it...especially if there are other people submitting offers on that house.  (Easy to think "it's MINE!" and keep bidding)  With cars you can easily walk away knowing they produce thousands identical to the one you like each day.  You can go back and try to negotiate again in a few weeks...even at at a different dealership the same day!  That's not so with houses.  It can be hard to walk away from something you like knowing you may not find it again if you do walk. 

Similarly to buying a car when they tell you something just adds a few bucks to the monthly payment...it's also easy to talk yourself into a house that's above your budget if you do the math because: "What's another $2,000 -or even $10,000- when you're talking about something that costs hundreds of thousands of dollars anyway?"  Interest is a big deal...and it adds up quickly.  Don't forget that, and don't let anyone tell you any differently.

The short sale and bank-owned houses are even harder to walk away from because they're usually a great deal.  Don't allow yourself to be bullied - regardless of what you're purchasing!  I'll say this again: You're talking about mortgaging hundreds of thousands of dollars!  (Check out where the term "mortgage" comes from...it's French.)

Although I have tried to keep my dad's advice about not falling in love with it, it has been hard not to envision living in this house we're trying to get. But still, we will go see another house today to keep our options (and our minds) open.  Sooner or later, one way or another, this home-buying process will end for us.  Who knows where we'll end up. 

One of the biggest pieces of advice that I would give to homebuyers in this market is to keep your emotions in check.  Do everything you can to avoid falling in love with a house, and don't be afraid to walk away.  And don't threaten to do so unless you're serious.  Do not move into that house (figuratively) until you've signed the closing papers...or received the all important approval letter in the case of a short sale like ours.  (Even then, inspections can change everything.)  I'm the pot calling the kettle black, but I'm telling you this because this is another one of those things that's easier said than done. 

The difference between buying a car and buying a home is a significant one, and it's easy to get wrapped up in emotions.  Stay strong.  Here's to speedy closings!

My love-hate relationship with HGTV

I hate that I love watching House Hunters, Property Virgins, My First Place, and the like.  I like watching other people as they look for their dream home like we have done, and I get excited when I know they have found "the one."  But, I really cannot stand the fact that HGTV has seemingly lost touch with the realities of today's real estate market, and it has frustrated me to a  point where I hate watching these shows and really don't like HGTV in general very much at all anymore.  Here's why:

 - When you submit an offer on a house and the sellers accept the offer (short sale or otherwise) you have NOT bought that house!  Every single episode of one of these shows portrays the process this way, and it is 1000% unrealistic...yes...one-thousand percent (since we're exaggerating things anyway).  You do not have an offer accepted and then magically move in 30 days later and everything is perfect.  Why not have more follow-up shows?

 - Why not have more shows about short sales and bank-owned properties and the headaches involved?  I've seen a couple shows where the buyers have looked at short sales, submitted offers and walked away due to frustration and loss of patience.  THAT is realistic, but HGTV doesn't show that often enough.  Two shows is a small ratio.

 - Why not show stories of people who stick it out through the process like we have with our short sale?  You should provide tips on resources and how-tos for purchasing short sale properties.  Show people that it does take a very long time to get through the process.

 - The ratio of short sales and bank-owned properties far exceeds traditional sales like those portrayed on your shows.  I'll bet prospective buyers in this market would find those stats interesting.  (And more so about the differences between the two.)

Kudos to you HGTV for trying to spin things into a positive light, but you are giving homebuyers a false impression of the market today.  And I mean first-time buyers as well as people who have bought before.  Recently, I spoke to someone involved in real estate and he said he was dealing with a couple who were buying a second home.  They thought it would be easy because they've done it before.  But, he said he told them that unless they've purchased a home within the last 6 months things have changed dramatically,a nd they have a lot to learn about the market.  Even if you've purchased a home within a year...things have changed! 

HGTV, you have an opportunity to shed light on the new reality of purchasing a home.  I think you should seize the opportunity to educate people.  HGTV...GET REAL!